I was made fun of for a lot of reasons - being too tall, too fat and too funny looking. But it took just one scumbag to come up with the insult that stuck - Mutt. Soon many of the kids at Pleasant Lake Elementary to started calling me that, screaming it at me on the playground. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.
You see that's how kids are - they have a huge capacity for cruelty. They copy each other. They follow the herd for fear of rejection or retaliation.
It didn't get any better as I got older. It only took one jerk to start calling me Fugly. He was no prize himself, but soon all his friends, male and female, started calling me that, too. Fugly rang through the terrazzo tiled halls of Angola High School. I wanted to go home, go to sleep, and never wake up.
You see that's how teenagers are - they have a huge capacity for cruelty. They copy each other. They follow the herd for fear of rejection or retaliation.
Years went by and my sister bought our great grandparent's house. It was a dream come true as the place had been a haven for us both. But it only took one crazy, jealous neighbor to ruin it. Screaming insults, starting hideous rumors, stalking, following, harassing, issuing death threats. And is it any surprise that others followed his lead? Stealing one tactic after another from his play book?
You see that's how the small minded are - they have a huge capacity for cruelty. They copy each other. They follow the herd for fear of rejection or retaliation.
So what's the answer? In grade school, I retreated into the pages of books and the pixels of computer games.
In high school I sharpened my wit and my tongue, pointing out the flaws and shortcomings of the bullies themselves. I was voted class clown by my freak and geek counterparts for doing so.
Now? I don't handle it as well. With age, my Irish temper has reached nuclear levels. But my theory is this - something about me makes the slope headed losers of this world want to pick on me. I think they're jealous of anyone who's smarter, of people who are good at something, of those they think have it better. I am smarter. I'm a pretty good artist and writer. I have it better because I'm not operating through the fog of ignorance.
I can only keep being me. And feel thankful each day I'm not like them. Because although retaliation sounds sweet, it never works out. No, the best punishment for the people who've hassled me in the past is this - they have to get up in the morning and look at themselves in the mirror. They must hate what they see, or they wouldn't lash out at others.
